After receiving news of death of a loved one, as one is grieving there are many things to be done regarding burial:where to bury, when to bury and how to bury. In Africa, relatives and the community start trickling in to comfort the family.
When a baby dies sometimes the family may have to decide whether to bury or allow hospital to do so.Sometimes the family may not know what to do or may just feel overwhelmed. Either way it's emotionally draining to make such decisions. I kept negotiating in my mind, this was not the plan, we were to take Jaden home not look for a funeral home andsite to bury him. Our family and friends supported us by accompanying us to hospital, pay bills, transfer baby to funeral home and assisted Alex in processing documents. They helped ask questions, ensure things were handled in a proper way. We never felt alone.
It is kind of the community to come visit the bereaved,it assures them of the love and support. Sometimes it can be overwhelming but for others it's ok. Ask the bereaved what time is best to come visit? Ask the practical assistance they may need as they host people. Please do not prolong the visits, allow the bereaved to have sometime to rest and to run errands if any. We were blessed to have a community or support system that was sensitive and helpful in every way,God sent and we never felt this but are cognizant that we need not overburden the person/family, they are already hurting.
Again I say, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Our personalities and way of handling things may be different. Ask the bereaved, how best you can support them. Some don't mind the grrat company and may want you to stay for as long as you can.
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