Dangers to look out for when grieving.
#1 Do it my way
Why aren’t you hurting as much as me or pull yourself together you too much.
Be aware of each other’s style of grieving, observe and communicate.
Extend grace to each other
#2 I must be strong
Sometimes we feel we need to be strong for the sake of others. Unfortunately, one may suppress their emotions and this may pop up later in life.
Allow yourself to feel the emotions. Crying or feeling emotionally drained does not mean you are weak, it says you are human.
Be self aware of what you are feeling. If something feels overwhelming, ask for help or support.
#3 Resisting Change
Death brings change. Our values, priorities and commitments fall under attack. Daily routines become hard, holidays and events may become a constant reminder of the loss. Sometimes we may resist the change by changing our values like indulge in substance abuse,infidelity or walking in bitterness.
Death alters life forever. With time there is need to learn a new dance, learn how to cope/survive with the change of not having your loved one. One step at a time with lots of patience on yourself and loved ones.
#4 Make Me Happy
When loss occurs, our hearts feel hollow and sad. The pain sometimes is unbearable and we do not know how to make ourselves feel better. We expect our family,friends or spouse to fix our pain and broken hearts.
Remember that we are all are hurting and focus on how you can bring joy to your loved ones. You can also communicate your expectations on how best you can be supported.
#5 Surviving alone
There is a danger of withdrawing from people. Loss is personal but one may feel all alone or lost in their pain.
Strive to build togetherness and turn towards each other even in the pain. Today I may feel low but you might be in a better space to support me and another day, you may be down and I may be able to comfort you.
God put the lonely in families and even in our hurt and painful seasons, let us seek the warmth from family and friends.
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