My Life

A client called  this week specifically to find out about the baby.She had bought a gift for baby and wanted to know how we were doing. Being a mum of two ,I didn't know how to tell her about my baby not being with me.I finally gathered myself and I explained Jaden's story and she felt quite guilty about having asked but again I explained it was not her fault. That afternoon another client called and after talking about a product she wanted she remembered that she had seen me pregnant sometime back and asked whether I got the baby, and I said yes and brushed it off. She said she would come by the office the next day and I was like phew, I wont be there to explain anything but she changed her mind and said she would pop into the shop on this particular day. Samara was taking her nap when the client came with her family and she asked oh..you have the older one here..where is the small one..at home? Awkward place to be at... So that has been my experience this week. How does it

A few days after bring baby J home, we met our next door neighbor who was expectant and due in December.We chatted and we found out that she too was expecting a boy and had coincidentally picked same names for our boys.Last week,her child came home and I couldn't help but feel so emotional. A Jaden is next door and my Jaden ain't here with us.I never knew clothes on a hang line could bother me so much..I admire the baby clothes they hang to dry..they are right outside my daughter's bedroom window. I have no problem holding and cuddling babies,even after Jaden passsed on,but the fact that my next door new born is my son's namesake...a constant reminder ..All I can pray is for God's peace to reign,I know the Lord will grant us grace and peace..lakini his ni ngumu kiasi                                                We are blessed with wonderful friends who do not mind our company.Friends who allow us to talk about Jaden without them felling like we are boring..frien

Jaden,I can't find the right words to express the void within me. I miss you so much my son,my peaceful one.Never did you give us a hard time. last month,a day like today you were in the ICU.As I was about to leave for home at night,I called your name and you responded so well. I sang to you,the song that you seemed to love 'I love you,you love me,we are a happy family,with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,won't you say you love me too'.As I sang you moved so much towards me in the incubator and I cried because I longed to hold you and cuddle you like I did before the surgery.I cried all the way home. I didn't know that it was our last mum to son bonding session.I didn't know that one month later, I would still cry like I did but this time, I can't look forward to seeing your handsome face tomorrow after being away for the nite. Jaden,I miss you dearly,I feel the pain in my stomach,a day hasn't passed without wondering whether am dreaming or it

I love God because He holds our world and no matter how much at times you want time to stop, it just moves on. God created time so that we have new days, with new grace and mercies. Everyday we take a step towards healing and I strongly believe that, I find that amazing and wonderful. Last Friday, baby gal was closing school and they had a number of presentations. She did the opening prayer and it was so special to us. She prayed so confidently, holding the microphone and praying with all sincerity. I cried as my heart melted. They had other presentations, some she chose to just stand and stare, maybe stage fright and some she danced so well. So we have been home with her since then and it has been great just playing, bathing her, going for walks with her. She has really become independent and keeps reminding me she is big. She has also been very firm on asking for a pink big bicycle.We did some window shopping and saw some orange and purple ones with her and she was very clear that

 I heard this song on Sunday by Israell Houghton and it blessed my heart. You can listen on You Tube http://youtu.be/P6_T29ZaxyE Take my heart Lord will You take my heart As I surrender to Your will I confess Your are my righteousness And until You move me I'll be still And know that You are God YOU HOLD MY WORLD IN YOUR HANDS YOU HOLD MY WORLD IN YOUR HANDS AND I AM AMAZED AT YOUR LOVE I AM AMAZED THAT YOU LOVE ME YOU HOLD MY WORLD IN YOUR HANDS YOU HOLD MY WORLD IN YOUR HANDS AND I'M NOT AFRAID MY WORLD IS SAFE IN YOUR HANDS OH IN YOUR HANDS Take my life Lord will You take my life You are the reason that I live I believe You have forgiven me And by Your grace I will forgive And I know that You are God And know that You are God You won't let go of me You won't let go of me You won't let go of me You won't let go never let go You will take care of me You will take care of me You will take care of me You will take care always ta

I have been seeing alot on thanksgiving and today I choose to give thanks. "Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name." -Psalm 100:4  I am thankful to be alive and well. Grateful that I know Jesus as my Saviour and that He died for me and loves me. I thank God for my family. I thank God for my one in a million husband, a father to Samara and Jaden. My beloved is the best companion that has and can walk with me through the various seasons of life. I am thankful for baby gal, yesterday she told me she isn't called baby gal, she is growing too fast. I thank God for her energy, her smile and laughter. Today, she did not want to leave me home as she wanted to be sure that I shall make it to her school concert and watch her dance. I am looking forward to seeing her perform. Samara reminds us of God's faithfulness, we are so blessed to have her, she has a beautiful her and will always be big sister. I am also thankful

I am listening to "A voice of hope-Trusting God Again" on http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8xpDRqZDKKs#at=270 Was all this about trust?  Do I really trust Him? Did I ever trust Him? Did He want me trust Him more?

I woke up this morning feeling very moody. I was feeling quite impatient even with baby gal as I prepared her for school and kept telling myself I can’t do this when I felt she was not cooperating. Well, a close relative, with all the love wrote me an email yesterday stating that “we need a chat on the causes of congenital heart defect which are partly unknown but also genetically caused. While one can do nothing about the genetic component the environmental association can be controlled especially within the first three months of pregnancy. You need to keep healthy, minimize stress and gain some weight” . Frankly speaking, this is an area I would rather steer clear away from because it brings out my greatest fears. You know baby gal had an open heart surgery in October 2011 to close the "hole in the heart"(ASD ) she had. We asked what would have caused it and the doctors said it can not be explained but also may be caused by maybe drugs or something consumed in early m

We felt so loved and comforted through the many calls and friends and family who came to visit. However we noted that for baby gal and it not being deliberate , no one really was comforting her ..I guess we assumed she doesn't understand or we did not know how to deal with her grief. But truth be told , Samara knew and loved her brother so much. I was so scared of her asking about him because I didn't have an answer..but my beloved sat her down and explained to her that her brother went to be with the Lord in heaven. Of course she asked the whys and where  but she seemed to understand that he had left us. On the day of the funeral again he explained to her that we were going to say good bye to Jaden and she asked me for the first time and I said the same thing. It was bold  of Alex to sit her down and explain to her such a difficult thing, yet with such wisdom he used the basic words and she seemed content. Thanks a million hun, you are 1 in a million. From that day she asks

It has been 10days since baby J went to be with the Lord . We lay his body to rest on Tuesday 13th November 2012 after having a funeral service which my beloved shared our dreams for Jaden and the lessons our boy taught us in those few days. JADEN JOSEF KAREGA EULOGY AND JOURNEY OF FAITH Our son, Jaden Josef Karega was born on Saturday 13 th October 2012 at 4.45pm at the Aga khan Hospital. He was a gift to Alex and Sylvia, a small brother to Samara Karega and a darling boy to many friends and relatives. Just to take you back, his both names were Hebrew, not just wonderful names but given in a calculated way. Jaden means God has heard.. while Josef means God will enlarge or increase. Josef further represents a family person, love, harmony, giving, good, noble and one who has concern for others. This is what we had spoken and declared upon Jaden’s life even before he was born. Baby J was very peaceful yet aggressive….kicking and all and at 2weeks his legs were firm to

 Baby Jaden as newborn  Big sister is so proud of carrying her brother  My lovely family  My babies  Big sister took this picture of mummy and baby boy  My precious babies just bonding  Our son  My boys Big sister was so proud and happy to have you in her life. She surprised me, every morning before school she would ask about you Jaden, immediately after school, she wanted to see your face..there was no hint of jealousy at all in her. We miss you my angel... Jaden Josef Karega, so peaceful and I thank God for allowing us to hold you and have precious memories. I miss you so much today, 1 week later my tears still flow freely, I miss the times we shared together my boy.

It All Belongs To You- Deitrick Haddon My heart , My mind , My soul Belongs to you My love , My life It all belongs to you Belongs to you Belongs to you Chorus The songs , We sing They all belongs to you The air , We breathe It all belongs to you Belongs to You Yes, I surrender it all Yes, I turn it all over Yes, It all belongs to you It all belongs to you

I am not sure where to start in this blog. There is so much to say and I will say it with time. I just want to say that God blessed us with a lovely handsome son on 13th October 2012. He was such a joy to us, family and friends. Jaden was very peaceful, he would just breastfeed, sleep sometimes, at times he would just want to be put down and stay awake. Baby gal was very  proud to be a big sister, she was all over her brother. Infact her new name in school was"big sister". Every time Jaden would cry or turn she would rush to peep and check whether he was awake..Every time she tried to carry him, she always leaned very close to him, giving him a kiss. It was so nice to see them both together. I shall share pictures of them soonest. Baby J had a small blockage in his aorta ..vessel that carries blood to the rest of the body and he needed a closed heart surgery. His surgery went well  on Thursday 8th 2012 and he was taken to ICU for observation and on Saturday, after we had

I can't believe it, that one year ago, we were in MIOT Hospital in India anxious about baby gal's open heart surgery that had been scheduled for the 14th. I still remember the hardest thing for us was to hand over Samara to the nurse and wait for about 3 hours before seeing her. As we waited, we knew that indeed it is God who watches over us and our children because we could not go in there , all we could do was stay putt and wait. We felt the support of family and friends because there are moments in ones life that one can not pray and that particular period was one of them. Today, baby girl is fine, healthy and in school. She is a busy bee and very opinionated. She loves pink and is at that stage of saying what she wants to wear. The other day after her nap, we wanted to go for a walk and she insisted on wearing a pink dress and she felt really good about that. We do not miss those nasty comments about how small she is, or the times when she coughed and we had to rush to ho

I think the greatest lesson I learned from my sister and friend Emma was" learn to choose your battles". She normally tells the story better but she once and many more times told me that we have to choose which battles to fight and which ones to let go off. When you go to the forest seeking to hunt down a bear, you should not lose your focus becasue on the way you may meet squirrels and other things that may distract you... Well I guess I have been a learning alot of late like 2 weeks ago, some pretense clients walked into our kids shop www.sasimpressions.com and my assistant was there alone and they managed to distract him and stole my laptop. He later called me and it was too late as he realised it was not they about half hour after they had left.  I think God just gave me grace because the laptop has been our major business tool since we started but at the time of being told, I realised there is more to life than a laptop or electronic equipment. Of course the next day

Am not sure whether I mentioned that the other day I as I picked Samara from school, she innocently asked me whether I would buy her a Ben 10 bag. I told her she has a nice bag and didn't need a Ben 10 bag. I was shocked that peer pressure starts early. So this morning, I asked her teacher whether there are kids with Ben 10 bags and she said actually they have 5 kids with the Ben 10 bags that you drag and a few girls have the princess bags. So I told her no wonder baby girl was asking about the bag and she was like " you should buy her a princess bag". What? I told her no, her kings collection bag is good enough. Anyways. I have heard many parents say how they receive pressure from schools regarding celebration of birthday parties, the kind of toys kids have, etc. Anyways for us , we shall not give into pressure.

I promised to practice being thankful. This morning my beloved reminded me that this may be my last week to be pregnant i.e am on week 39 and he was I should enjoy because I will miss it. I looked at him in shock and wondered what is there to miss about being pregnant? I am most humble and proud to be carrying baby boy and having had the privilege to carry Samara but I wondered what would I miss. Well maybe I will miss being allowed to skip the queue in "some" banks. My friend Sandra insisted on taking me a picture yesterday so that is me at work yesterday. I miss my skin complexion, I miss sleeping all night on my tummy or turning easily in bed. I miss touching my feet without asking for help. I still can't understand how the stomach can stretch that much..infact I was asking  Alex, how do the men with 1 packs handle there tummies? Maybe it is not as heavy as it is with a baby in there. I also do not like the worried look on many peoples faces when one enters the lif

Yesterday evening, I was watching Joyce Meyer and she challenged the audience to be thankful . To appreciate all God has given us and the small and big things people in our lives do for us. She asked, what would happen if we lifted our hands every morning, lunchtime, evening and just said thank you to God? She also noted, it is much easier for us to lament and complain about things rather than thank God. At times we even complain over and over about the same thing we are praying about and how do we expect to get a response? Oh, remember that the things that happen in our lives, God intends them to make us better people while the devil intends the very same thing to destroy us.Let us allow God to mold us, to become better.This morning am thankful and desire to train myself to be thankful for all the good and not so good things happening in my life. Have a thankful week won't you?

Bad tooth Lame foot: 21/09/2012   Have you ever gone through the experience of having an aching tooth? For some reason many times an aching tooth will manifest in the middle of the night and it becomes a nightmare. The pain is almost unbearable and you cannot sleep. You promise yourself that as soon as it is daylight, you will head straight to the dentist. Come morning and it’s not that painful and after taking some pain killers you talk yourself out of going to see a dentist but that night you go though the excruciating pain again. A friend of mine went through so much pain that he actually took a set of pliers and yanked out a tooth in the middle of the night. The pain was just unbearable! Proverbs 25:19     Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble. We are all looking for a good and faithful friend but the question is, are you a good and faithful friend? Are you reliable, can I count on you to be there? It is easy to h

The God who provides. (Jehovah Jireh) Genesis 22:9-15 When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. 10 And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. 11 At that moment the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”    “Yes,” Abraham replied. “Here I am!”  12 “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.”  13 Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son. 14 Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the LORD will provide”). I often wonder if I were in Abraham’s position, would I have gone that far? What was going through his mind when he bound his son and la

Baby gal is at an age where she determines whether you are her friend or not depending on what she perceives pleases her. So she unleashes sentences like ..: Mummy are you my friend? or Mummy you are not my friend now". When I take her to be and she had said am not her friend, she says mummy sit on my bed you are my friend now. Anyways yesterday she put her daddy is an awkward position. We were watching TV and she was lying on my beloved and she said " Mummy , daddy is not your friend" and I told her ask daddy whether he is my friend. So she asked and daddy responded "Oh yes mummy is my friend". We also have a house help in the house and the next sentence was "daddy is aunty XX your friend?"..I was very keen to hear his response. Alex evaded that question by reassuring her that mummy and Samara are his friends. The questions kids ask in their innocence. But in all that, baby gal keeps reminding us how relational we are. We can not do without relat

Today  we are at 38 weeks and we doing the countdown to holding baby J in our arms. Quite exciting I must say. Over the weekend I was telling my beloved that it is amazing how the floor seems so far. If something drops or you need to reach out for something, it really takes lots of effort but if you have helpful hands like baby gal's and her daddy life is bearable. Samara will always pick the shoe for mummy and I only need to slip my leg into the shoes. Anyways, we were just chilling out at home on Saturday , when my sister Emma called and said she would love to pick Samara for the weekend.At Emma's home she is able to play with her three cousins. We quickly packed her bag and she couldn't even sit inside the house, she was seated at the door. Thankfully tata Emma was close by and the wait wasn't too long. That left us home alone and I tell you we just chilled, no pressure to cook and it was relaxing. We had an impromptu date, went to eat junk food(not healthy) and

My friend Carol is so committed to forwarding devotionals to many every morning. Her passion is just amazing. Carol sent this devotional from Max Lucado and I thought we could read it together. You do not have to be married for it to make sense.We all have routines whether single or married. God Answers the Mess of Life You stare into the darkness. The ceiling fan whirls above you. Your husband slumbers next to you. In minutes the alarm will sound, and the demands of the day will shoot you like a clown out of a cannon into a three-ring circus of meetings, bosses, and baseball practices. And for the millionth time you'll make breakfast, schedules, and payroll...  but for the life of you, you can't make sense of this thing called life. Its beginnings and endings.  Cradles and cancers and cemeteries and questions. The meaning of life!  The poor choices of life. God answers the mess of life with one word:  grace!  Do we really understand it? Ezekiel 36:26 says, &q

Baby gal has been on school holiday since August 3rd , for about a month and it has been such fun to hang out with her. We have noted such growth, development and maturity in her at times its scary. She seems to have a mind of her own. Can you believe this baby we brought home the other day can refuse to wear a certain outfit. She has become so girly and is interested in wearing dresses so that she can go round and round with them. And please may the dress be pink please. Oh you do not make promises and not fulfil because she now remembers and will remind you. Well , after our move to our new home, we have taken 2 bus rides with her and it was so much fun. Everyone must have known it was her first ride because she pointed out at other buses, other vehicles, the motor bikes and I loved every bit of it because she was able to say that not everyone has a car...the only challenge came when she slept and I had to carry her out of the bus..but little sacrifices for lifes lessons not bad.

I have been intending to blog about my pregnancy journey and I get to do it today. When we discovered we were pregnant with baby gal 2 years ago , we were pleasantly surprised and enjoyed the journey. My appetite was great, energy levels were high,  added lots of weight steadily, not much discomfort and basically was a great journey. The only downer was that I become so dark and well was not keen to look at myself on top of the shocker of not fitting into clothes. After baby gal's surgery last year, we felt that we should plan for baby number 2 and we have been totally blessed and honoured to walk this second journey with baby J. We are currently at week 36 but the scan last week was saying we at week 33. Yeah, my weight has been almost constant for the longest week..now at 65 only added 1 kg from 64, baby was said to be so small at 2.2KG last week's scan and that was not funny but the doctor says nothing to worry. This pregnancy has been so different...around week 6, I blo

Verse:         Psalm 34:1 I WILL bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. - This is a lifestyle we need to develop. - A lifestyle of praising God no matter what happens. - We need to decide that we will praise Him constantly. - Determine that you WILL praise the Lord today! DECLARATION:  I will praise the Lord no matter what happens.

Once positive thing we noticed after moving out from an apartment, was that baby gal has this interest in airplanes. She points them out whether we driving or outside the house. So on Saturday , we were dropping off someone at the airport and she was so excited to see the BIG planes and we promised that after church on Sunday we would take her to see some. Sunday afternoon, we drove to Wilson Airport and we were advised that to see the planes, we could only go to Dormans,  a coffee/restaurant and from there we could see. Well a small price to pay for the excited toddler. We placed our order for drinks as we saw many planes parked, fly in and out and as a parent that priceless smile and look on your child's face filled with excitement is so satisfying. Samara shouted , called out to us to see the planes and it was just a precious moment. She was so syked up ,I tell you, we went to a supermarket to buy her a book with airplanes and well we out did ourselves you may say but for baby

Dear All, Trust that you have been well. It has been sometime since we gave an update on baby Caleb but for the past few weeks also due to the cold weather, Caleb has been ailing and had been having infections, not feeding, vomiting and high fevers. On Friday afternoon ,17th August 2012, baby Caleb passed  while at the doctor's office. The funeral is scheduled for Tuesday the 21st August either at Ruiru or Langata. We continue to stand with the family during this time. I once again would like to say a big thank you  all for standing with us through this journey. We can choose to pick the lessons we learned through Caleb's experience about God's awesomeness, faithfulness, provision instead of questioning why which in our humaness we do. There is a time for everything and it has come to Caleb's time to rest. God bless you all. Sylvia

32 years ago I was born to a wonderful woman. My mum has been a mother and a friend over the years and I thank God for her. Last night I was thanking God for crafting my path. He knew I would be my mother's daughter and through the hard and good times we have hard as I have grown up, He knew it would contribute to who I am today. I am also grateful that God knew that I would meet my beloved husband Alex. It is almost 4 years and through the roller coaster of life..I am so happy and blessed to be married to this wonderful man. I am blessed to be his wife and look forward to many great years ahead. I am also thankful to God for blessing me with baby gal, Samara.She is such a joy and so lovable. She adjusts to situations and reminds us of God's faithfulness. She had started noticing her scar from the surgery and when she pointed , we answered that means God is faithful, a complex answer for her now but that is what God has been to me and my family faithful. I am also thankful

I would never say that I have ever taken my health for granted..I always thank God for it but for the past 1 month it has been quite tough for me and my family as with the cold season there was a flu bug that just didn't seem to go. I never knew having a flu can put you in bed not 1 or 2 days but more. The hospital visits and expenses for that past month have been high but more so just the emotional draining of it.I thank God for my beloved, he has been very supportive through it all and am grateful. We are healthy and thank God so so much. Samara had her sports day on 3rd August and it was so exciting to just see her participate with such passion..I actually cried was just humbling I guess and let me share a few pictures of the day. Samara is on extreme right all set to go She is now on holiday and we look forward to a great healthy holiday. Blessings to you all.