A few days ago as we had breakfast we had the below conversation with Samara Samara:Mummy, tata is the what born? Me: She is the first born like you. Samara: My cousins are many, they are 3 children Me:Yes Samara, even you guys were three..you, Jaden and Nate Samara:Yes, I am the first born, then Jaden then Nate is the last born. Me:Yes Samara Jaden seems to have impacted Samara despite her tender age then.She just had a very strong bond and deep love for him which warms my heart. The past month I have heard so much of maternal and newborn death that it has made me miss my boy. Yesterday morning, I drove to Langata Cemetery and I was tears before I even got there, I haven't been there since November 2014. I just had this missing in my heart of him and when I got there I cried and cried some more . Someone asked me the other day when I told her I lost a son before, she said that it must be better now? I said am not sure it gets better, the missing and vacuum never get fi