My Life

 May is Mental Health Awareness Month:Restart as many times as you need to. When we were young, we couldn't wait to be adults, we thought we could make our own choices, do what we wanted and lived in a fantasy world. We forgot that choices have life long consequences and we were not warned that not everyone in life is for you and its ok.  Adulting is hard, it's constantly trying to put your oxygen mask in the turbulence of life. I have found myself wishing sometimes that I could go time back to those carefree days but here we are and I wouldn't trade my life for any other. Tha past year has been turbulent, many tears, disappointments, transitions and changes. The year has also had many wins. One of my favorite quotes is 'courage is doing it afraid'. Another is 'choose you and show up, no matter how you feel'. Swimming upstream has never been easy. You face resistance from within and without and you must keep going, restart as many times as you need to and  c

  Finally 8years.  Milestones, so many uncharted waters yet there is a faithful God who sees, who knows and who cares. That's all that matters, I credit Him faithful. 

 Times & Seasons Belong to God The year 2012 remains to be my most challenging year . It was a dark year, I was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted.It was dramatic and it's  also the year that we moved houses twice while I was expectant with Jaden. We hated one of the houses but moved anyways, we had to.  It was a dark year, I spent most of it in the washroom throwing up  or going to the doctor because I couldn't keep food down yet baby was growing as I grew thinner . A dear friend sensed something was not right with me emotionally and took me for dates but I wouldn't speak out and she patiently showered me with love. Looking back I think I was in emotional distress leaning towards depression. When Jaden was born I thought I could finally get some sense of relief from the dark days but 1 month later baby was no more. A journey of loss and grief began and I wondered if i' d make it, I wanted to die. That year was really hard. At crossover kesha into 2013,