After a safe delivery, the next best news is being told mother and baby can go home. We all look forward to taking the newborn home and settling in in our comfort zones. There is no privacy in the hospital, a nurse walks in to give you medication, the doctor comes to check whether mum is healing ok, another comes to check the baby and whether mum has enough milk. Have you ever wondered why you wear those gowns that allow the hospital easy accessibility?
Think the depressing part is normally the settling of the bills with the hospital.All bills from various departments and doctors are sent to the finance person.Your NHIF card can also help in paying for the ward bed depending on your contribution.Its always advisable to start clearing early and please order for lunch just incase the clearing process takes longer than you thought, remember mum and baby need to feed.
In the couples group we belong to, we always request a couple to assist the dad in running up and down to settle the bill, to help pack the mum's and baby things, flowers,juices etc on the day of discharge and to also help carry the baby home. This is simply to make the family's transition from hospital to home much smoother. We try and ensure that there is some food for the family and preferably have a relative or close friend to stay with the family for a few days to help in receiving visitors and ensuring the new family is comfortable. Once settled in , we leave them to rest and to adjust .
For us, after 3 days in hospital, we got home and didn't know how fatigued we were until we slept till about 7p.m. When we woke up, it was time to bath the baby. In hospital, the nurses wash the babies but also encourage first time mums to try . I was not confident and hence didn't get to do it. Alex volunteered to wash Samara and so we started by boiling water, ensuring its the right temperature, put all her clothes ready, put on the heater and music and we were ready to go.I must say we make a good team and we survived the first time bath and all others became better. Practice makes perfect. So the night came and we were ready to sleep but Samara was not and we stayed awake till 5.30a.m. We saw the sun rise and wondered whether these was the new lifestyle. Thankfully after that she entered some sought of routine and it was quite manageable.
Being first time parents we needed to adjust our sleeping patterns because Samara would wake up every 2 hours, Alex would pick her from the moses basket and I would breast feed her then he would burp her. At times I envied him so much, he would just fall asleep as soon as he gave her to me, while I sat there longing to sleep, but I learned to rejoice in the moments shared with baby and soon our small fights were finished. It is so easy to forget the husband when baby comes,and it takes deliberate effort to include him. For example when you taking tea/porridge/juice, let him have a cup/glass also, allow him to change the diapers, to wash baby, after all its your baby. If he is abit nervous, encourage him and allow him to make mistakes, even as the mum we make mistakes, I used to forget to change the diaper sometimes, Alex was better at washing Samara but hey that's why we complement each other. The baby always takes the attention of all the people so get invisible literally. People pick the baby and forget to greet you, I have done that to many. Infact our mums used to tell us please do not come visit without the baby..we want to see her more. Yap, its a humble pie to swallow.
Our small sister Purity was also very helpful in those first few days. She would ensure there was enough to eat and drink and allowed us to rest and just take care of baby. Thanks Purity, you were just the best. We also thanked God for our parents and families, they ensured that we had enough food and drinks, they visited and called frequently to ensure all was well. That support from family and friends in the initial months is invaluable.
Our small sister Purity was also very helpful in those first few days. She would ensure there was enough to eat and drink and allowed us to rest and just take care of baby. Thanks Purity, you were just the best. We also thanked God for our parents and families, they ensured that we had enough food and drinks, they visited and called frequently to ensure all was well. That support from family and friends in the initial months is invaluable.
After Alex returned to work after 2 weeks, it was just us during the day and I rested when baby slept and looked forward to having Alex come in the evening. 3months is good to stay home but it can get a bit boring.Reading books, watching movies can keep one going but also friends visiting really help the mother who is home most times. Our best couple advised that the baby should fit into your lives and not the other way round. So we went out frequently with our new born and enjoyed life.
Something I admired this year was that the mothers in our couples group who were home during their maternity leave, organised weekly meetings where they went out with the new borns or met in their homes and shared their experiences. They could exchange notes on the milestones, challenges and queries. They went back home refreshed and rejuvenated to face another week.
The warmth of a friend's presence brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, and pleasure to all of life.
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