Weight-Part 2

Once the baby is breastfeeding and starts to wean, the eyes shift from the mother to the child. Common comments ‘ what are you feeding your baby on? They are growing so well. During baby clinics, pressure mounts because your child's weight gain doesn't seem to match that of another or a friend's child. Next time you take the baby for vaccination open your ears and eyes. It’s like people are sizing each other up, or trying to boost their image especially if their baby “seems” to be ahead of others.

I know this is a sensitive topic but all am saying is, yes the mother/parents have worked pretty hard to ensure that their baby is growing well and that is ok and we appreciate the good job done, but hey do we stop to think about that other woman/family who is feeling like a failure because as per the society as long as your baby is not growing as well as we expect, the mother( most times) isn't doing a good job? Do we ask ourselves why isn't that child not growing as fast as we expect? You know even the Bible says that words can kill and it is wise to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Killing doesn’t have to be physical even words can destroy someone’s image and sometimes future. How many people have not attained their full potential because of careless words that were spoken to them?

Why do I say this, because I have been in both shoes.That of quickly commenting about another's child and that of feeling like a failed mum. When my first niece was born, we were so anxious to see her in hospital and when we finally , I was trying to express how babies are so tiny/delicate and used the word "puny". I meant well but that was not the right thing to say at that time. She was a bouncing baby girl (why are they called bouncing again?) but I should have chosen better words I think and that was held against me for a while. I tried to correct it 2 babies down the line by choosing my words carefully. I think I was finally forgiven but that example always reminds me of how sensitive we need to be when commenting about other people's children. I am trying to learn because am far from perfect.

We had recently gone for a holiday with some friends and while we were sitted someplace, a stranger walked towards us and asked how old our daughter was and I said 15 months. The stranger went ahead to say how tiny she was and need I say those words pierced my heart. I don't know about you but as a mum for me, I try the best I can to provide the best foods for my girl and her weight gain/loss has nothing to do with me, as long as she is healthy that's all that matters.

So next time we want to comment about another person's weight or their child, let's ask ourselves ‘ is it really necessary to say it? Will it build that individual or will it crash them? Can I keep my comment to myself? One of my favourite quotes is from baby center ," Remember, your baby is an individual, all babies are unique and meet milestones at their own pace".

Let us appreciate that process of individualism and celebrate the milestones with sensitivity. I celebrate Samara's milestones and am so proud of her. I am honoured to be her mum.