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Never Would Have Made It

That is the song that played in my head this morning "never would have made it, if it was not for God". Today is last day of October and we usher in November. I have been totally humbled by God's grace and strength over that past year.

Jaden left us abruptly on 10th November 2012 and I thought and felt like I would die. The pain was unbearable, the missing and shock were to great to express and I wanted to just die and follow my son. I walked around like a zombie and wished the pain and experience away. With breasts full of milk, with no baby it hurt the more everytime I showered and they poured milk.

But God is gracious. He is amazing for real. I wished that time would fly,fast forward so that I didn't have to deal with the pain but none of that happened. God walked with me daily. He heard my pleas for strength when I felt I wasn't strong enough to face the day. He touched me where it hurt most. The daily tears were wiped and replaced with an inner peace and reassurance that He had my back and my son was in good hands, better hands. He told me that I may not understand why but that I was guaranteed that He would always be that friend closer than a brother.

So this November we do not moan. Yes we may cry but we celebrate a God who is faithful. A good who is able to take a broken heart and mend it at His pace to what He wants it to be, dependent on Him.

Isn't it amazing. I am amazed.

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