Its abit hard to sleep wondering whether to wake sam to breast feed before 4a.m. and well a nurse walked in at 3.30a.m. with 4 slices of bread and jam..nothing else and says we feed baby not beyond 4a.m. I ask what should she eat bread with and am told maybe water..wah ok we opt for breast milk. Its hard to get back to sleep when after 4 Sam asked for milk and cries and I can’t give her..so hard again, I sing for her out of bed and thankfully she falls asleep but when she wakes up she wants milk..what to do? I go down to third floor with her and ask the nurses and they say we can give her something but not beyond 9a.m. we happily take her to the room, feed her with weatabix..and some breast milk…again at 10.30 I am allowed to give her breast milk..and told by doctor no more because she is up for surgery in the afternoon. So later samara asks for milk, and I can’t give her imagine..she slept I rejoiced coz how do you refuse to give your baby food?
So we said we shall not eat if she is not allowed to eat as we are a team…
Well the nurses came around 12 , we gave her a sedative to drink, she cried a lot but thanks to Alex she finished it. We were told to strip her..they applied betadine on her body and tied her a sheet. Oh it was so scary and when they walked out ..the three of us held each other and just cried and prayed, we knew what we dreaded was here with us. At 1.30 they came for her. We cried and prayed with her and the most difficult thing was handing our baby girl to them. She cried and we followed the nurses at a distant. She was then handed to someone in the theatre and we were informed it may take anything from 3 to 4 hours and the doctor would give us an update after surgery. Words can’t explain that feeling and wait, we really cried, just the thought of sitting in our room and not knowing…Alex prayed and I just cried…no appetite when lunch came, we tried watching movie but our hearts and minds were with Sam in theatre. It was hard to talk to family and friends on fone..and tears just rolled out when they called.
At about 5 am, we took a walk and luckily met Robert the surgeon, he said all went well and that we could see her in the ICU after half hour…I cried tears of joy..we came back to the room said a prayer of thanks and informed our family. Well we then went to ICU you leave shoes outside wear slippers provided, an overall, wash your hands, wear a mask and get in. We saw our sweet one lying there peaceful..wanted to touch her and were asked to sanitise our hands first because they do not want any infection..thats ok because the doctor says she did well . We stayed a few minutes and nurse requested we leave and come in the morning..oh morning is so far..we take a walk outside our hospital block and when get back just watch movies on some channel..nothing much to do. Internet per day wireless will be 500 rupies equivalent to Kshs 2,000 per day ..so that one we passed....we can’t afford that too expensive.
So dinner came and was nice, yeah can’t believe I said that..fried rice and nice chicken,, guess we were hungry after not eating earlier…
I take a walk later and sit outside the pediatric ICU. A couple is waiting to see their baby. I wait for 9.30p.m. 4 hours after seeing samara to just enquire how she is..they say she is good but I can only see her in the morning... Inside the ICU there were other smaller babies..of may the lord bless them all and watch over them include our baby girl..you know today was the hardest day ever in our lives…but grateful to God and for strength. Its so hard to hear that you are not allowed into the ICU which is understandable coz of infection, so we wait till tomorrow which feels like eternity. We missed baby girl, below are her shoes and the teddy bear she loves. I held it so tight that afternoon. It was hard.
Comments