Skip to main content

Free Yourself

Tuesday evening, I had a very long chat with a friend of mine. She said she has been seeing my updates on facebook and has been wondering how can she contribute or what more can she tell me that others haven't said, regarding the loss of our son.  She had fears that firstly, she doesn't know what kind of state we are in if she were to call and was surprised that we were laughing, she also  has been feeling very guilty that she has never managed to come see me after the funeral yet my mum has pleaded with our friends during the funeral gatherings to stay by our side when the "show is over" because people always disappear after the funeral and the family is left alone.

As we talked, I felt so sad for her because no matter how much she loves me, she has her life, career, family and life in general and realistically speaking life has to move on. Despite loving me so so much, she can not afford to talk to me daily, or visit me daily? She can not stop the tears and pain that we may feel as a family. But she said that she prays and what a lovely assurance. Because prayers take people a long way. You may not pray for us daily but the day you do we appreciate.

I felt so bad that she has been feeling guilty that she told my mum she would be there for us, yet in that situation, who wouldnt have answered yes to my mums request. I asked her to free herself from guilt. I asked her to walk in the fredom that she so deserves. Such is life, so much happens in our lives and no matter how much we may want to be there for some people, its just not practical or so I think. I always say its like labour. When a mother is in labour, no matter how much her husband or family or doctors love her, there is only so much they can do. Yet I know you can be deliberate about praying for them and checking on them when you can, not to fulfil a duty but out of the goodness of your heart.

So I felt , I needed to share this blog with all our friends, who may also be in the same boat..please we do not hold anything against you, we love you and have realised you if need be. God has been so real in our lives and He has been our strength and joy. Please free yourselves from any guilt that you didnt come to see baby J at birth or while in hospital or that you did not come for the funeral or that you hoped to be visiting us or calling us frequently thereafter. Please know we understand life happens and is happening and even when our world may have seemed to stop for a short while, God has been our keeper and we delight in Him.

We appreciate you all for all the prayers you whisper for all the kind words of encouragement that you speak to us, but please free yourselves from any guilt that may be in your hearts or over your heads.

We love you.

Blessings

Sly

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Journey with Caleb's Family

A friend requested me to share my story on the journey we walked with Caleb's family. So below is a very long blog on that over 1 month. Am not sure what is in store for us ahead but this far it has been God. After our experience with Atrial Septal Defect(ASD) through our daughter Samara, I felt within me a call to look for people to partner with regarding kids with heart issues. So In January this year, I checked the net and bumped into a local NGO. The organization basically deals with kids with heart defects from poor families. I thought it was a noble call and contacted the organization. They were fast to respond and I visited them alone and over the weekend on a Saturday with my family. On the Saturday we went, we met Caleb and his parents. This was end of January and they were discussing with the founder of the organization about how to raise airfare for them to travel to India, first week of February. I held Caleb briefly in my arms and his mum kept saying one day her...

Househelps

This morning as we drove to work, we tuned into a radio station that had an interesting discussion...yeah you guessed it, it was on househelps.The background was that there is a lady who has helped develop a curriculum for domestic workers in Kenya and the emphasis is on respecting oneself, good grooming, respecting the job one is doing etc. She was encouraging all employers to enrol their domestic workers for the curriculum but many were hesitant stating that they would invest much in the househelps then after a few weeks/days the girls would leave..but she said if all homes trained the domestic workers then whenever they left, then you would receive one who is trained as everyone has played their role. The morning show had 2 male presenters, and two ladies and what caused a stir was that the men asked one lady.." whether she would employ a househelp who was prettier than her? "Would you employ one who's esteem is high and dresses well if you were married" . The l...
Looking back at where I am today and where the 8-4-4 system had placed me, I thank God that He has a purpose and plan for all of us. At times I wonder whether I will be able to tell my kids that I was never in the top 10 position in class. Most of our parents have told us how they were position 1 in their class and I always wonder who was last? Think about it. I envy today’s young generation. Having being raised in Kericho and Nakuru in my younger days, I didn’t know English too well and at 6 years I was speaking broken English. My first birthday was so memorable and exciting in that I could not say birthday and would welcome my friends and visitors by saying ‘welcome to my passday’. Oh well ,thank God that we catch up quick and I went to Milimani Primary and later Nairobi Primary and my report forms would read “ Sylvia is very playful and can do better if she settled down" or "slight imporvement but can do better". Class 8 came and I scored 432/700, and that was ok...