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Free Yourself

Tuesday evening, I had a very long chat with a friend of mine. She said she has been seeing my updates on facebook and has been wondering how can she contribute or what more can she tell me that others haven't said, regarding the loss of our son.  She had fears that firstly, she doesn't know what kind of state we are in if she were to call and was surprised that we were laughing, she also  has been feeling very guilty that she has never managed to come see me after the funeral yet my mum has pleaded with our friends during the funeral gatherings to stay by our side when the "show is over" because people always disappear after the funeral and the family is left alone.

As we talked, I felt so sad for her because no matter how much she loves me, she has her life, career, family and life in general and realistically speaking life has to move on. Despite loving me so so much, she can not afford to talk to me daily, or visit me daily? She can not stop the tears and pain that we may feel as a family. But she said that she prays and what a lovely assurance. Because prayers take people a long way. You may not pray for us daily but the day you do we appreciate.

I felt so bad that she has been feeling guilty that she told my mum she would be there for us, yet in that situation, who wouldnt have answered yes to my mums request. I asked her to free herself from guilt. I asked her to walk in the fredom that she so deserves. Such is life, so much happens in our lives and no matter how much we may want to be there for some people, its just not practical or so I think. I always say its like labour. When a mother is in labour, no matter how much her husband or family or doctors love her, there is only so much they can do. Yet I know you can be deliberate about praying for them and checking on them when you can, not to fulfil a duty but out of the goodness of your heart.

So I felt , I needed to share this blog with all our friends, who may also be in the same boat..please we do not hold anything against you, we love you and have realised you if need be. God has been so real in our lives and He has been our strength and joy. Please free yourselves from any guilt that you didnt come to see baby J at birth or while in hospital or that you did not come for the funeral or that you hoped to be visiting us or calling us frequently thereafter. Please know we understand life happens and is happening and even when our world may have seemed to stop for a short while, God has been our keeper and we delight in Him.

We appreciate you all for all the prayers you whisper for all the kind words of encouragement that you speak to us, but please free yourselves from any guilt that may be in your hearts or over your heads.

We love you.

Blessings

Sly

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