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The Question & Comments From My 5Year Old




Children grow to fast. I remember after Samara’s open heart surgery, my greatest concern was the scar.I asked and read whether it would ever go away as baby grows etc and I sincerely hoped that it would disappear completely. The big question came on Friday evening as she ate dinner while I fed Nate. "Mummy, will this line go away?". I must admit I was taken aback but I told her to finish her food then we could talk. As we showered Nate, I explained to her that the scar won’t go away because it reminds us of how God loves her .I told her when she was young, we went to India in a plane  to a hospital and that’s how the scar came about as the doctor treated her. After that, she gave me her own theory that, it’s a boy in her former school who rolled something on their chests (I had heard that theory from her aunt as she had told her cousins when she was much younger) but I explained that’s not true. Well for now, she was content and she didn't dig deeper and I pray that the next time the question comes ,she will be older to understand but am so glad she asked. For now, we continue to love the scar and it is a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness.

So this Monday morning as we were on our way to her school, she bluttered out"Mummy I miss Jaden". I was so quick to tell her it is ok to miss Jaden and she kept quiet after that. But her comment resonated with what my heart had been feeling. I miss Jaden and am not sure what I miss about my boy,I miss everything. Am not sure whether I miss the milestones that would have been and times together but I have been missing him so much over the past 2 months, its been quite intense. I wondered what people mean when they say that when you get another baby you forget the pain and loss. Am not sure you can ever forget or stop missing the one  you carried and birthed and loved so dearly, because I miss Jaden big. I see kids who would have been his age and I try play it out in my mind how he would have been. He will forever be in our hearts. 

Happy New Month 

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