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1 Year Now

Every family would love to celebrate happy times with their children as they grow. On Friday we went to Samara's school to watch her do Christmas Carols and act in the snow white play. We were so proud of her. At the back of my mind, I wished the Lord had given us the same opportunity with Jaden, or allowed us to attend such functions with him. Allowed Samara to brag abit more about her small brother and allowed us to see his major milestones. Now all I looked at yesterday were the beautiful flowers I held in my hands and his photo album when we got home.

Well yesterday 10th November was the first year anniversary since Jaden went to be with the Lord. We went to his grave with flowers and as I held them,I cried to God because I wished I didn't have to hold flowers in my hand and place them on my son's grave.I wished I held him in my arms and as his dad said given him the flowers instead. The tears flowed,our hearts were so broken. I didn't want to leave the grave.I was in no hurry, I just wanted to sit there till it gets dark. We just chatted with Alex for a while by the grave side until the sun wouldn't allow us to be there anymore. 

I looked back at the day last year and the pain that was so deep and real and I can only say it is God who has carried us through the year. We miss Jaden a lot. I look at other kids and wonder, how big was he? What was God upto by allowing us to have Him only for a month? Death is so painful and no wonder God never tells us when it is coming...many many questions but it is well with our souls.
So today, we walk by faith.Counting our blessings and placing our trust in God for the coming year.Thank you friends and family for walking with us through this journey.We appreciate the support and most all the prayers.

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