The Ache in My Heart

Dear Jaden,

Today is the eve of the 9th year since you left me. I heard that adversity builds character and we should embrace it . For sure your loss and the journey has been a roller coaster and great contributor to who I am today.

But tonight, I do not feel strong, tonight I feel afraid that if I continue to write ,I shall cry a river. But hey these are the emotions sometimes that I must sit with , no shortcuts and live through them. Tomorrow my son, I shall be strong, tomorrow my son, I shall be hopeful but for today, let me wallow in this space of missing you, remembering the tears I shed the eve 9years ago wanting you in my arms, wanting to go home with you and not leave you in the ICU alone. I didn't know, it was the launch to many more hours, days, months and years of never having to see you, hold you, hug you, kiss you. Oh my heart aches tonight but tomorrow there is hope.

From my aching heart.

Love always mummy.

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