What a beautiful day this was. We agreed to introduce the children to Jaden because 2weeks ago I had the opportunity to share about loss on TV and on same week, I had a zoom session sharing on our marriage journey and loss. I did the zoom from our home and was fearful that Nate would stumble into our story of loss before we tell him yet we strive to be the first voice and to process issues together. Baby girl was young too and we talked about Jaden but after Nate was born and a bit older, we never discussed despite her being tempted once to tell Nate about Jaden and I told her he wasn't ready then. I was blessed that my beloved was in agreement that it's time and day was today.
Jaden passed on when Samara was 2years 11 months on November 10th,2012 and of course Nate was born 2years later. We got the photo album that we have of Jaden, a toy car I kept and a portrait that we used for his funeral. We didn't know how to start and after dinner, Alex in his wisdom (a God idea), picked a paper and pen and started to draw our family tree and beautifully introduced Jaden especially to Nate(6yrs) as born 2years after baby girl, our second born, his brother then him as the third born. Oh, it warmed my heart and Samara started crying and that was okay. She said she could not remember much about him but remembers hugging him. Nate needed to internalize what happens when you don't breath and Alex patiently, calmly explained to him and he took it in. We then introduced them to Jaden's portrait, then photo album from his delivery (October, 13th),the day he came home and Samara loved him, moments shared with family and Samara finally saw the picture that reminds her of her hugging him. It was a beautiful and intimate moment.
She cried abit more, and we had to decide what we want to do with the car and the big photo portrait. We agreed that when Samara is ready, we shall put the wooden toy car somewhere visible and when daddy is ready we shall put the photo portrait up too.We held hands, I was requested to pray and barely made it through the prayer but in tears and whispers thanked God for our complete family(Jaden included) and the ministry we have been called to, walking with the broken hearted.Nate cried finally, maybe because he saw mummy cry and his sister but he was safe in Alex's arms.
After the prayer, Samara picked the paper with our family tree, wrote the Karega Family Tree and smiled. That warmed my heart and I knew we are ok. We agreed that October 13th,we can freely celebrate Jaden and maybe visit his grave together.
So thankful that God gave us courage and opportunity to introduce our baby J, to his siblings on this day 9th August, 2020.We agreed to watch a family series we have been watching and drank tea together. A beautiful day indeed. My heart is full especially to know that we are a family of 5 but Jaden is in heaven waiting for us, someday soon.
Blessings Sylvia
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