Skip to main content

International Bereaved Mother's Day

On April 25th, 2020, I received an interesting email from  Joyce,the TEARS Foundation,Kenya Chapter Leader & Support Group Facilitator . She was informing us that every Sunday before Mother's Day , we celebrate International Bereaved Mother's day. On this day the world celebrates and acknowledges all mothers , who had children but no longer have them in their arms. It does not matter  whether it was a  pregnancy loss, in between or adult loss. Child loss is child loss.It is not a day for pity party but a day to celebrate mothers, once a mother always a mother. 

Hearing of International Bereaved Mother's day  for the first time brought much joy,having been a mother to Jaden (baby J) who passed on three weeks after birth in November 2012. My baby boy, our second born, our first son,was a such a joy.We all loved him at first sight even his big sister(2 years at the time). Is there a day to celebrate bereaved fathers and siblings?


After Jaden rested, I was in shock. I never knew that babies die(sounds funny but yes, I never imagined babies die). It was obvious to me, you get pregnant, carry baby to term and they grow and stay with you happily ever after.But the loss of  baby J ushered me into a new world of loss and hope. It opened my eyes to the fact that many families go through loss, some spoken and unspoken. Spoken because people saw the bump or the child and unspoken because it was a miscarriage and it was your secret.  Either way loss is loss and is painful. It marks the beginning of a lifetime journey.

However, there are treasures in the dark, I did not understand it when the pastor preached during the funeral, I was in so much pain.My baby had just been with us for one month from the date of birth to the day we buried him and there were treasures to be found in the pain? Well the journey of loss and grief indeed has been full of grace and treasures seven years later. I am a firm believer of not wasting my pain.

Here I am today, sharing that despite the loss, the pain, we can breath again.We can take it a step at a time, a day at a time . I have met many ladies,formed friendships and continue to encourage each other in this journey. Treasures in the dark indeed that cannot be traded for anything and born out of loss and pain.

Happy International Bereaved Mother's Day

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Unconditional love

As I went home last yesterday, I heard the song 'In harms way'  by BeBe Winans, Rhett Lawrence, Margaret Bell-Byars. When listening to music, I want to know the lyrics,what the song is communicating and how it applies in my life. This song reminds me of God's unconditional love, even when I do not deserve it, even when I have given up , even when he knows all He knows about me, he doesn't let go of me. That is just amazing. Undying love you've given to me Seen in me things I would never have seen I don't understand why you care so much, it's all a mystery Time and time again I ask myself What have I done to deserve such wealth The price you paid, I could never repay your generosity Chorus: In wanting to save me In order to save the day Because of love you placed yourself In harm's way It's truly beyond me Left without a word to say What kind of love would place itself In harm's way? What kind of love would place itself In harm...

Weight-Part 2

Once the baby is breastfeeding and starts to wean, the eyes shift from the mother to the child. Common comments ‘ what are you feeding your baby on? They are growing so well. During baby clinics, pressure mounts because your child's weight gain doesn't seem to match that of another or a friend's child. Next time you take the baby for vaccination open your ears and eyes. It’s like people are sizing each other up, or trying to boost their image especially if their baby “seems” to be ahead of others. I know this is a sensitive topic but all am saying is, yes the mother/parents have worked pretty hard to ensure that their baby is growing well and that is ok and we appreciate the good job done, but hey do we stop to think about that other woman/family who is feeling like a failure because as per the society as long as your baby is not growing as well as we expect, the mother( most times) isn't doing a good job? Do we ask ourselves why isn't that child not growing as...
Looking back at where I am today and where the 8-4-4 system had placed me, I thank God that He has a purpose and plan for all of us. At times I wonder whether I will be able to tell my kids that I was never in the top 10 position in class. Most of our parents have told us how they were position 1 in their class and I always wonder who was last? Think about it. I envy today’s young generation. Having being raised in Kericho and Nakuru in my younger days, I didn’t know English too well and at 6 years I was speaking broken English. My first birthday was so memorable and exciting in that I could not say birthday and would welcome my friends and visitors by saying ‘welcome to my passday’. Oh well ,thank God that we catch up quick and I went to Milimani Primary and later Nairobi Primary and my report forms would read “ Sylvia is very playful and can do better if she settled down" or "slight imporvement but can do better". Class 8 came and I scored 432/700, and that was ok...