For sure the journey continues everyday. I was shocked at myself last year when Jaden's 4th year anniversary came and I moaned so deeply. I cried alot, felt like I had gone back to the initial days when we just lost him, i felt depressed and was so so sad for weeks. I tried to ask why that happened and I realised that, while aiding a friend who was admitted in a certain hospital during that time, I got to interact with a mum who was also admitted with her 5 day old daughter who was to undergo surgery, we interacted almost on a daily basis until they were discharged . However, I could identify with that mum's fears before surgery, when baby was in surgery and when baby got out of surgery alive and safe. I guess all that just took me down, don't get me wrong, I was so so happy for her that they went in and came out safe. I guess, I just wished that my story was like that, ended with a happy ending and so when the day Jaden passed came, I moaned and moaned deeply. But God is faithful because He carried me through that dark season and it was a reminder that this journey of grief never ends, even years after but with God and love one is able to face each day.
As I went home last yesterday, I heard the song 'In harms way' by BeBe Winans, Rhett Lawrence, Margaret Bell-Byars. When listening to music, I want to know the lyrics,what the song is communicating and how it applies in my life. This song reminds me of God's unconditional love, even when I do not deserve it, even when I have given up , even when he knows all He knows about me, he doesn't let go of me. That is just amazing. Undying love you've given to me Seen in me things I would never have seen I don't understand why you care so much, it's all a mystery Time and time again I ask myself What have I done to deserve such wealth The price you paid, I could never repay your generosity Chorus: In wanting to save me In order to save the day Because of love you placed yourself In harm's way It's truly beyond me Left without a word to say What kind of love would place itself In harm's way? What kind of love would place itself In harm...
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