For sure the journey continues everyday. I was shocked at myself last year when Jaden's 4th year anniversary came and I moaned so deeply. I cried alot, felt like I had gone back to the initial days when we just lost him, i felt depressed and was so so sad for weeks. I tried to ask why that happened and I realised that, while aiding a friend who was admitted in a certain hospital during that time, I got to interact with a mum who was also admitted with her 5 day old daughter who was to undergo surgery, we interacted almost on a daily basis until they were discharged . However, I could identify with that mum's fears before surgery, when baby was in surgery and when baby got out of surgery alive and safe. I guess all that just took me down, don't get me wrong, I was so so happy for her that they went in and came out safe. I guess, I just wished that my story was like that, ended with a happy ending and so when the day Jaden passed came, I moaned and moaned deeply. But God is faithful because He carried me through that dark season and it was a reminder that this journey of grief never ends, even years after but with God and love one is able to face each day.
Looking back at where I am today and where the 8-4-4 system had placed me, I thank God that He has a purpose and plan for all of us. At times I wonder whether I will be able to tell my kids that I was never in the top 10 position in class. Most of our parents have told us how they were position 1 in their class and I always wonder who was last? Think about it. I envy today’s young generation. Having being raised in Kericho and Nakuru in my younger days, I didn’t know English too well and at 6 years I was speaking broken English. My first birthday was so memorable and exciting in that I could not say birthday and would welcome my friends and visitors by saying ‘welcome to my passday’. Oh well ,thank God that we catch up quick and I went to Milimani Primary and later Nairobi Primary and my report forms would read “ Sylvia is very playful and can do better if she settled down" or "slight imporvement but can do better". Class 8 came and I scored 432/700, and that was ok...
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