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The Hollow Feeling

This hollow feeling is back and so intense. I miss Jaden so much. Why did you choose him? Why did you allow us to meet him then take him away? The feeling is so sad..I am trying to get my footing in you..at times I feel like I will take a break and disappear just to look out for your voice in all this.

Yesterday, I was craving for twins, sometimes I feel like I should be blessed with twins to payback for the loss..not really payback but just to compensate for the hurt, brokenness and emptiness.

Yet I know you are God, and you have something worked out. I am thinking and fighting the feel that I need another child, yet Lord I know you at your own time will bless us..you are not a liar, to turn on your word..I know my womb is blessed..oh dear Lord, I feel like I can run through this valley, yet I hear you say, I need to walk through it..won’t you uphold me?Won’t you soothe this loneliness? What treasures are in these darkness? I recall you said in the midst of dark cloud ,you are there..I know you are there but I cant feel you, I cant hear you Lord..speak to my heart, speak to my broken heart dear Lord

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