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Discipline

This morning our 19month old baby gal, decided to pick her aunt's hair lotion and ran away with it to our bedroom. I requested her to return it and she declined and instead threw it on the floor.Samara has that habit of throwing things down when she is annoyed and its something we have been working on. So I told her what she did was wrong and spanked her. She was not moved and was kicking the lotion with her foot. I told her to pick the lotion but she declined. After afew sapnkings she did pick it up and I told her to take it to her aunt's and when we got to where Shiru was she refused to give it back and threw it down again. By the way, we were all running late and she was just stubborn. Alex joined in and after a few more spankings she picked the lotion and gave it to her aunt but would not say sorry.

 She only said sorry after her aunt had left and we were alone. I guess its the shame she felt to say she was sorry but I need guidance on that.Can somebody please advice on how you teach a child to say sorry.

Comments

Cate said…
On this one Sly am lughing out loud but not laughing at you. This kids are all the same. Wht you did in my view is the right thing but it does not yield results immediately. Be firm and consistent she will learn with time. Sorry will be coming out easily after some time
29 August 2011 at 17:47
waitingarms said…
Oh the memories when children start testing boundaries! And boy, do they sometimes have a long time frame (especially when we are busy and have to be somewhere else)!

What I have learnt is that it usually results in a battle of wills between the child and the parent. Your daughter is still pretty young so she will be testing the boundaries for a while longer (and this is totally normal child development). A suggestion is to have a set consequence for a behavior in advance, be consistent with the consequence and do not allow yourself to get drawn into a battle with your child. This is usually difficult for the parent and it requires committment - we usually want to show a child all at once who is in charge. But this is a learning time for the child and it takes some time and I promise, this phase will soon pass. If you don't let yourself get drawn into a battle, you will be more relaxed and the child will figure very quickly that you will not engage with them when they are testing the boundaries. So suggestion is to ask your daughter to return the lotion once, if she declines, a simple consequence since your daughter is so young and then let the issue go. Once she realizes that she cannot control your emotions or reactions, then she will be off to something else or actually comply without you asking again since she will still be seeking your attention. I have used this method for my kids (though it is usually tough for me since I normally expect immediate obedience) but it really works.

Blessings as you raise your beautiful daughter!
3 September 2011 at 23:28
Sylvia_Counselor said…
Kate thank you for laughing with me.

Waiting arms your advice is so practical and I will work at it. I have noted the words 'refuse to be drawn into a battle with the child'. That's very wise and sounds quite mature and deliberate. Thanks.
5 September 2011 at 13:26
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