Skip to main content

Before & After Grief

I was ushered into personal grief in November 2012. Over the years,I have purposed not to waste my pain and have developed great interest in loss& grief.Initially,I focused on death of a loved one but with time,I have discovered that loss is experienced in so many other ways like loss of health, relationship, friendship,work,pets or dreams etc.

However,the past few months as I have read posts on grief,I have been fascinated with this words ' grief changes us'.Yes,I thought that was obvious but I didn't realize that there is a before& after the loss.One starts looking at life through the lens of before and after the loss.

Loss changes your identity and I have been trying to remember,who was I before I lost my son 13years? What parts of me changed after the loss? That's what's been really nagging me lately.Did I smile more,laugh a little louder,was I more carefree with life? What was my before? What was your before? Is there anything I would want to rebuild from my before that would enhance my after?
As I try to look back,I sure do remember some mental shifts 'after'
1.That life is sacred& precious.
2.Babies die too.
3.The power of presence and empathy to walk alongside others goes a long way.
4.God is my firm foundation through it all.

Have a reflective day.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

11Years On

 Jaden, On November 10th 2012,minutes,turned to hours,to days,months and years.It's been 11 years.I still remember you,the sadness is gone but the love is still there. On October 13th your birthday,I received so much love,gifts,flowers,cake from different people who didn't know how special that day continues to be. I was reminded that despite you not being here with me& us,you remain to be apart of us in a beautiful way. Always loved From mummy
Post a Comment
Read more

My Journey with Caleb's Family

A friend requested me to share my story on the journey we walked with Caleb's family. So below is a very long blog on that over 1 month. Am not sure what is in store for us ahead but this far it has been God. After our experience with Atrial Septal Defect(ASD) through our daughter Samara, I felt within me a call to look for people to partner with regarding kids with heart issues. So In January this year, I checked the net and bumped into a local NGO. The organization basically deals with kids with heart defects from poor families. I thought it was a noble call and contacted the organization. They were fast to respond and I visited them alone and over the weekend on a Saturday with my family. On the Saturday we went, we met Caleb and his parents. This was end of January and they were discussing with the founder of the organization about how to raise airfare for them to travel to India, first week of February. I held Caleb briefly in my arms and his mum kept saying one day her...
7 comments
Read more

Househelps

This morning as we drove to work, we tuned into a radio station that had an interesting discussion...yeah you guessed it, it was on househelps.The background was that there is a lady who has helped develop a curriculum for domestic workers in Kenya and the emphasis is on respecting oneself, good grooming, respecting the job one is doing etc. She was encouraging all employers to enrol their domestic workers for the curriculum but many were hesitant stating that they would invest much in the househelps then after a few weeks/days the girls would leave..but she said if all homes trained the domestic workers then whenever they left, then you would receive one who is trained as everyone has played their role. The morning show had 2 male presenters, and two ladies and what caused a stir was that the men asked one lady.." whether she would employ a househelp who was prettier than her? "Would you employ one who's esteem is high and dresses well if you were married" . The l...
4 comments
Read more