Skip to main content

The Question & Comments From My 5Year Old




Children grow to fast. I remember after Samara’s open heart surgery, my greatest concern was the scar.I asked and read whether it would ever go away as baby grows etc and I sincerely hoped that it would disappear completely. The big question came on Friday evening as she ate dinner while I fed Nate. "Mummy, will this line go away?". I must admit I was taken aback but I told her to finish her food then we could talk. As we showered Nate, I explained to her that the scar won’t go away because it reminds us of how God loves her .I told her when she was young, we went to India in a plane  to a hospital and that’s how the scar came about as the doctor treated her. After that, she gave me her own theory that, it’s a boy in her former school who rolled something on their chests (I had heard that theory from her aunt as she had told her cousins when she was much younger) but I explained that’s not true. Well for now, she was content and she didn't dig deeper and I pray that the next time the question comes ,she will be older to understand but am so glad she asked. For now, we continue to love the scar and it is a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness.

So this Monday morning as we were on our way to her school, she bluttered out"Mummy I miss Jaden". I was so quick to tell her it is ok to miss Jaden and she kept quiet after that. But her comment resonated with what my heart had been feeling. I miss Jaden and am not sure what I miss about my boy,I miss everything. Am not sure whether I miss the milestones that would have been and times together but I have been missing him so much over the past 2 months, its been quite intense. I wondered what people mean when they say that when you get another baby you forget the pain and loss. Am not sure you can ever forget or stop missing the one  you carried and birthed and loved so dearly, because I miss Jaden big. I see kids who would have been his age and I try play it out in my mind how he would have been. He will forever be in our hearts. 

Happy New Month 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unconditional love

As I went home last yesterday, I heard the song 'In harms way'  by BeBe Winans, Rhett Lawrence, Margaret Bell-Byars. When listening to music, I want to know the lyrics,what the song is communicating and how it applies in my life. This song reminds me of God's unconditional love, even when I do not deserve it, even when I have given up , even when he knows all He knows about me, he doesn't let go of me. That is just amazing. Undying love you've given to me Seen in me things I would never have seen I don't understand why you care so much, it's all a mystery Time and time again I ask myself What have I done to deserve such wealth The price you paid, I could never repay your generosity Chorus: In wanting to save me In order to save the day Because of love you placed yourself In harm's way It's truly beyond me Left without a word to say What kind of love would place itself In harm's way? What kind of love would place itself In harm...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Journey with Caleb's Family

A friend requested me to share my story on the journey we walked with Caleb's family. So below is a very long blog on that over 1 month. Am not sure what is in store for us ahead but this far it has been God. After our experience with Atrial Septal Defect(ASD) through our daughter Samara, I felt within me a call to look for people to partner with regarding kids with heart issues. So In January this year, I checked the net and bumped into a local NGO. The organization basically deals with kids with heart defects from poor families. I thought it was a noble call and contacted the organization. They were fast to respond and I visited them alone and over the weekend on a Saturday with my family. On the Saturday we went, we met Caleb and his parents. This was end of January and they were discussing with the founder of the organization about how to raise airfare for them to travel to India, first week of February. I held Caleb briefly in my arms and his mum kept saying one day her...
7 comments
Read more

One Month Later

Today, exactly 1 month after the surgery on October 14th, we have so much to be thankful for. I thank God that baby girl is doing great, has been on her feet, feeding well, gaining weight and one can hardly know what she had to go through. Today, we also celebrate that baby girl has stopped breastfeeding and for the first time since we came back slept a whole night in her room. Before the surgery we had her on a routine and she had moved to her real bed and was excited about it. After the surgery, there was need for reassurance and she woke up endless times at night while in hospital , just to make sure we were there and she started breastfeeding almost through out the night. When we returned she toned down on the breastfeeding and would wake up once during the night. This was very frustrating to me because it took us many steps behind but today she seems to be on her way to independence and am proud of her.Love you so much baby girl. Today, my beloved had to return to work after ...
4 comments
Read more