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Courage




This morning my heart is bubbling with joy. I am overwhelmed by God’s love for me and my family especially in this year. I can testify over and over that God is real in my life and His promises are always true no matter how long they take.

Psalms 139:14-16 says;
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, our eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Jeremiah 1:4-5 says;
Before I formed you in the womb ,I knew you before you were born.
That is my testimony this beautiful morning. I never knew that I would ever write about baby number three and being pregnant again. It is a pure and perfect gift from God and only He knew about baby before us.

Are we excited yes we are excited to be pregnant now at week 14. This far it has been an awesome journey and baby gal is excited that she will be having a baby in the house soon. Am I afraid? Yes I am but my sister Emma says “courage is doing it afraid”. We had our doctor’s appointment last week and I was all shaky. I was excited to see baby all grown and playing. The doctor said something quite profound “this  is a walk of faith” and we agreed. At times we feel like faith is not enough, we want guarantees that all will be well but God demands of me to have faith even as small as a master seed.

So truly it is a walk of faith and depending fully on God to see us through each day. I look back at when we lost Jaden. We were deeply wounded and felt we did not need or want another child. I was bitter with God for pulling the rug under my feet.  Our plan was 2 babies( girl and boy) and all seemed to have fallen into place until Jaden was no more and we couldn’t understand, how can this be?Who would go down the pregnancy road a third time? So in our pain, we opted to shelf the baby idea to this new year. As God healed our hearts, we felt we could trust Him again. After all, God chooses to heal or not heal and He is Sovereign.  So finally hear we are, desperately clinging to Him because He is our hope and trusting Him for a healthy baby.

Does it matter if it is a boy or a girl? I remember once I told my beloved that I would want a boy, maybe in my subconscious I felt I needed a boy to “compensate” for loss of Jaden. Yet again when a friend who also lost her son last year told me she is expecting a baby boy, my heart position shifted. I didn’t think I wanted a boy anymore..I do not want to look into the boy and and see Jaden..it may not make sense but I am also not still sure I want a gal. I know confusing as it may sound, this time round, I am fully dependent on God. He alone knows best. Emma asked me if I will check the sex of the baby and I said yes. And again I shall do it with courage and place my hope and trust in my God. Psalms 139:1-5 “Because God knows everything about the baby now and everything about the baby in the future”.

So what do I ask of you my friend? Walk with us through this journey. Keep praying for us and place your trust in God for your life, because He never plans evil, He has a  good and perfect plan for each one of us.

Blessings
Sylvia

Comments

Mummy Tales said…
Congrats Mama & Baba Samara! This is lovely news! We will walk with you in this journey, praying with you and looking forward to meeting baby #3. God bless you so much and thank you for sharing your inspirational journey. Hugs.
1 December 2013 at 12:50
Sylvia_Counselor said…
Thanks Maryanne. We appreciate the support.

2 December 2013 at 10:17
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