My Life

  My dearest Jaden, Today is October 13, 2025. You would have turned 13—such a big milestone. This year, thinking of you has been hard, maybe it's because I came to Langa'ta after intentionally staying away or maybe 13 is so significant. I find myself wishing you had stayed and never left. It's unbelievable that time has gone so fast, yet love and memories remain. I look at your siblings; gorgeous, courageous& resilient, growing too fast into amazing  people and I miss you.  For the past few days, I have been lingering on Psalms 127:1-3 NIV  "Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him . Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court." I am thankful for you. I carry you in my heart.  I love you. Happy 13th birthday. Always Mummy.

 Jaden, On November 10th 2012,minutes,turned to hours,to days,months and years.It's been 11 years.I still remember you,the sadness is gone but the love is still there. On October 13th your birthday,I received so much love,gifts,flowers,cake from different people who didn't know how special that day continues to be. I was reminded that despite you not being here with me& us,you remain to be apart of us in a beautiful way. Always loved From mummy

 May is Mental Health Awareness Month:Restart as many times as you need to. When we were young, we couldn't wait to be adults, we thought we could make our own choices, do what we wanted and lived in a fantasy world. We forgot that choices have life long consequences and we were not warned that not everyone in life is for you and its ok.  Adulting is hard, it's constantly trying to put your oxygen mask in the turbulence of life. I have found myself wishing sometimes that I could go time back to those carefree days but here we are and I wouldn't trade my life for any other. Tha past year has been turbulent, many tears, disappointments, transitions and changes. The year has also had many wins. One of my favorite quotes is 'courage is doing it afraid'. Another is 'choose you and show up, no matter how you feel'. Swimming upstream has never been easy. You face resistance from within and without and you must keep going, restart as many times as you need to and  c...

  Finally 8years.  Milestones, so many uncharted waters yet there is a faithful God who sees, who knows and who cares. That's all that matters, I credit Him faithful. 

 Times & Seasons Belong to God The year 2012 remains to be my most challenging year . It was a dark year, I was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted.It was dramatic and it's  also the year that we moved houses twice while I was expectant with Jaden. We hated one of the houses but moved anyways, we had to.  It was a dark year, I spent most of it in the washroom throwing up  or going to the doctor because I couldn't keep food down yet baby was growing as I grew thinner . A dear friend sensed something was not right with me emotionally and took me for dates but I wouldn't speak out and she patiently showered me with love. Looking back I think I was in emotional distress leaning towards depression. When Jaden was born I thought I could finally get some sense of relief from the dark days but 1 month later baby was no more. A journey of loss and grief began and I wondered if i' d make it, I wanted to die. That year was really hard. At crossover kesha into 201...

In honour of Jaden, it's been 9years today. What a journey it has been, so many treasures I have found in the dark and many more to look forward to. I remember, I love. It's been a beautiful day.